7 o’clock in the morning on a Sunday at a best buy in Wisconsin. That scenario is how I’d imagine a horror movie would start, but instead, it’s just me doing something nice at a stupid time. You see I love my wife tremendously, I do, and I have been known to not be as vocal about that feeling. This was her birthday, though, it was today, I had 364 days to plan a birthday gift out, but instead I waited until two hours before she would wake up. Anyways, my wife is a tremendous runner, she recently completed the Chicago marathon and even more impressively gets our 90-pound golden retriever to run with her for four plus miles. The issue I have always had is that she goes on these long runs with a terrible watch to keep her time, but it doesn’t have a GPS or a texting system in it just in case something were to happen. That was my big grand effort to make her birthday gift amazing and to show my love was to buy her the brand new Garmin GPS watch with all the bells and whistles on it.
I went over to the lady who was in the electronics section and asked to speak to her manager about this product. She informed me in a not so nice tone that she was the manager of that department. Which meant what I was about to ask even more offensive now that I just entirely ruined my first impression…
“Is there anything we can do about the price on this?”
She smiled coyly and said: “This is a Best Buy, not a Car dealership, pay the price on the tag or don’t buy it.”
As every male instinct in my body kicked in to try and prevent me from losing on a negotiation, I realized that I had to swallow my pride and take the L on this one.
“That will be $317.94, would you like to purchase insurance on this watch it’s only four dollars a month.”
Are you kidding me? You’re going to charge me 320 dollars for a watch then ask me to pay four dollars a month for insurance you can take your insurance and shove it up your…….
What I actually said was:
“No, thank you.”
When I get home, it’s about twenty minutes to nine and my wife is already up wondering where I am and suspicious of what’s going down considering it is her birthday.
This was the moment I was waiting for; this was going to make it all worth it, I have finally gotten a gift that shows her, her family, and her friends how much I love her!
She takes the watch and looks at it and opens it up and says “Oh, thanks, honey” and gives me a hug sets the watch down on the table and goes back into the bedroom to get ready for the day.
Usually, I’m smart enough to avoid something when it’s just going to end in a fight but today was not that day. I spent a lot of money on that gift, it’s super thoughtful, and it acknowledges that I know her interests! I thought I hit a home run with this gift, but instead, all I got was an “Oh, thanks, honey.”
I’ll spare you the details, but needless to say, we got in a big fight where I explained my frustration about the lack of appreciation of my gift, and she kept saying she did appreciate it. If she appreciated it then why did she give me that simple statement like I remembered to bring home milk after work?
The fight was over and onto the part where we don’t talk to each other for a few hours, and I do something to take out my anger. So I decided to do the all important task of cleaning up my dogs “presents” in the backyard. If you couldn’t tell already, I’m one of those people who leave the “presents” there until there is no green grass in the site anymore. It had finally reached that point where you couldn’t walk through the backyard unless you were a pro at the game twister. (Left foot brown, anyone?) It took me about thirty-five minutes to make the grass visible again, and upon completion, I came inside to wash my hands, and I received the biggest back hug ever and was told how much she appreciated me cleaning up the backyard and gave me a big kiss.
I JUST GOT A BIGGER POSITIVE REACTION FROM CLEANING UP DOG S*^# THEN I DID FOR BUYING A 300 DOLLAR WATCH?!
It’s official; I don’t understand my wife or any other women in the entire world.
The next weekend I was visiting some friends, and I asked them advice about the situation citing the fact that I had no knowledge of what was going on.
They asked me what my wife’s love language was.
What the heck is a love language?
It turns out there is a test couple can take that finds out what their “love language” is.
This test evaluates a person and tells you the best way in which they receive love. It turns out my wife is an act of service person, while I’m gifts and words of affirmation person.
So in my mind, I was getting myself a gift that would appease my love language instead of doing something for my wife that would satisfy her love language. This is also why me cleaning the backyard meant more to her than me buying her a fancy watch.
I encourage you, whoever you might be to grab your significant other, your boyfriend, girlfriend, brother, sister, son, or daughter and take this test. This is the answer you are all waiting for; this can single-handedly save a relationship. What you’re going to find out is if you want a relationship to work you must be willing to love someone in their love language and not your own. If you do not, you could ultimately sacrifice a relationship with someone you care about extremely.
From here on out when I want to show my wife I love her I don’t buy her any fancy gifts or write her long love letters. Instead I do something like clean the kitchen, or make dinner, while this may seem small or insignificant to you or me, to my wife it’s the difference between someone who loves her and someone who lives with her.
Take the love language test here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/